Livin’ Life on TiVo Time

“There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.”Bill Watterson

TiVo is simply the greatest invention of our time. I refuse to imagine, or remember even, how unsatisfying my life was BT – Before TiVo. But along with TiVo’s awesomeness – the ability to stop time not to mention an intimate knowledge of my innermost TV viewing habits comes a host of new problems.

I have developed a 4-6 hour a day TiVo habit. And that is without child interuptions. How am I supposed to work a full time job and keep up on my Season Passes??? Last night it took me forever to watch Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. It went a little like this…

To set the scene: M is in the garage unloading his truck. D is in his crib with his Pooh on CD playing away. B is in the bathtub.

Yeah! A new Studio 60! Quickly FF thru the intro. Wait. Pause it. Damn, the phone’s ringing. Ugh. So glad it’s not for me! Try to hand off phone to M. Watch him mouth “Who is it? I’m in the shower.” Hand him the phone anyway. Ha! I’m not his secretary. He can field his own phone calls. Now back to Studio 60. Watch the hook segment at the begining of the show. The stage is set for Tom’s brother in Iraq to be in trouble. Begin FFing thru next set of commercials. B comes out of the bathroom naked looking for pajamas. Errr. PJs are in the dryer. Pause, again. Run to dryer to get clothes. Head off whining about how he wants short pjs so he won’t be hot. Promise he can sleep in whatever he wants. Sprint back to the living room to finish my show before M comes back in. Hit play. Oh no! There’s still 42 minutes left. I’ll never get that finished before he’s back! I better watch fast. Watch next segment with only a minor interuption to get B his dessert. FF thru another commercial block then pause yet again to silence bouncing, jumping toddler in crib. Bottle applied, Pooh turned back on, kisses given. Back to my show. Sit down on couch just as I realize how thirsty I am. Walk back out to garage for bottled water. Hit play. Oh, good. It’s only halfway over. Listen to Jordan tell Danny she hasn’t felt the baby move in a while. Shit! It’s B’s bedtime. Pause for the cause. 15 minutes later B is asleep. No noise from D’s room. Sweet! Tiptoe back to the livingroom. Crap! M came back in the house and is watching “Deadliest Catch”. A TiVo pissing contest takes place. Somehow, I give up & go to the bedroom to finish the show. Remove contacts & put glasses on before bed. Crawl between the sheets. Sigh. Comfy bed. FF to the right part of the show. Just get back into it when D starts crying again. Ignore crying. I’m in bed. Ignore crying some more. Rewind because crying sidetracked me and I didn’t catch what happened. Damn, M! Why doesn’t he get D? Huff! I’ll just do it myself. Pause again. Finally, slip back into bed. Push play. Blessed silence for the last 15 minutes of the program. Look at the clock. It’s only been an hour and 47 minutes… good night.

All as an example of Mommy Multi-tasking for Parent Bloggers Network and Light Iris. Go check ’em out.

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