Letter to a Low Life…

Bite me, young Asswipe, that ransacked my car last night.

I forgot to lock the van when I got home because I had to carry a squirming 2 year old, a mom-purse, lunch box, and 2 bags from Office Max into the house. Actually, I remembered to lock it then (with my thumb on the magic key button which was threaded thru the handles of the lunch box & Office Max bags) – miracle of all miracles. But when I got to the house there was a package. I unpacked the box & realized it was for a co-worker. So, being the ubber-organized working mother that I am, (pfft!!) I carried it out to the van so as not to forget it in the morning. That’s when I remembered to get the mail – but forgot to re-lock the car. Blast me!

So this morning I opened my car door only to find my coupons hanging out of my coupon file and spread across my front seat. My ashtray devoid of change. My center console opened and violated. Various trash shrapnel scattered across the floorboards. And my blue tooth missing.

My blue tooth!!! I don’t know how I’ll manage! Don’t you know that without the code to program into your cell phone the damn thing is worthless??? I hope you choke on the $2.63 (mostly in pennies) you got from the ashtray. I also hope the blue tooth battery begins leaking & drips battery acid into your ear canal. Karma will get you, Jerk Off!


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