• The boys and I

  • A Little ‘Bout Me

    I’m 44, married and live in a sewerless small town on the central coast of California. I am an Inflammatory Breast Cancer survivor. My passions are reading, knowledge, shopping and photography – in varying order depending upon my mood. Though I’ve always wanted to be really good at something, I find that I’m just pretty good at most things. I live with my husband, Daddy-O, and our sons, Ben and Danny who are 10 and 5. Ben has ADHD and enough natural energy to power the Pacific Time Zone… and he’s not afraid to use it. Danny has Norries – a rare genetic disease causing him to be born blind. It’s a crazy, hectic life but I can’t complain any more than usual.
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Oh look! There’s my luggage!

Did you know that suicide is a federal offense? Of course, it’s only prosecuted if you fail in your attempt. So I suppose, only Attempted Suicide is illegal. I’m not really sure what the rationale behind that law actually is but it exists nonetheless.

Following that line of reasoning, if one attempts to kill a fetus (assuming it was after the first trimester), not once but twice, and fails, is that Attempted Murder? Or at least Assault or Child Abuse? I ask this in search of genuine understanding and not to drudge up some pro-life vs. pro-choice debate. (Frankly I waffle on the whole life vs. choice topic entirely too much to take sides. My inner debate can be summed up quickly like this: I am a Christian who believes life begins at conception, yet I have a uterus that is unequivocally mine, mine, mine, all mine and no one should tell me what to do with it.)

This morning I log on to my PC to find what, I’m sure, CBS thought was a nice warm-fuzzy story about the miracle of life against all odds. What I read, however, was almost horrifying. Parents carrying identical twins tried unsuccessfully twice to terminate one of the twins thinking he might die and take the other with him. Yet both survived and are healthy 7 month olds today. Obviously the doctors were very, very wrong. Obviously, the “failing” baby was not as bad off as the learned physicians thought. And twice? They didn’t have time to re-think the thing after the first botched attempt?

This makes me question things. Things I’m not comfortable questioning. Creeeaaak! Did you hear that? It was the closet door opening. The closet that houses all my baggage.

Years ago I had a miscarriage – a “missed abortion” at 11.5 weeks. They did a D&C. It was very hard on me and I fell into a depression for months. Shortly after that I got pregnant again only to find that it was a tubal pregnancy when my fallopian tube ruptured on my way to the ER. Because of this ectopic pregnancy I began posting to an online board in search of information. One of the wonderful women I met on this board had a pregnancy after we met in which her doctors told her there was no heartbeat in the baby. They called it a “missed abortion” and scheduled her for a D&C. For some reason she insisted on an ultrasound just before the procedure. And right there on the monitor was the strongest little heartbeat you’d ever care to see. Well, obviously she did not have the procedure and she delivered a very healthy little girl. All’s well that ends well, right? Right. Except that I can’t even think about the fact that I didn’t ask for an ultrasound before my D&C.

So can we trust doctors? Just how much practice is involved in practicing medicine?

I am very interested in everyone’s opinions.


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