Make me a drink and pass the ice pick

D has been channeling a vacuum cleaner all day long – apparently one with a 2 pack a day habit and a motor badly in need of servicing. And when I say all day, I mean ALL. DAY. LONG.
He woke this morning with a pretty decent vacuum imitation. That lasted through breakfast. Shortly after breakfast I was weary of the vacuum noise – already beginning to sound like a grumpy bear. So I broke out the Play-doh. We made balls, and squares and circles and pretend cookies. But the cookies led to crumbs and, uh-oh, out came the vacuum again.

I can’t figure out how to get him to stop. I ask him to stop. Nope. I tell him to stop. Nothing doing. Use his quiet voice? Now it’s a Cessna, not a vacuum. Let’s go to your room and be a vacuum. Humph. Someone taught that child how to walk and open a door. Let’s sing some songs. They’re all sung in Froggy’s voice from Little Rascals. I give up and retreat to the bathroom for a few minutes of peace and muted environmental noise.

B had his buddy over for a play date. So I packed all the kids up and took them to McD’s praying that the vacuum would stay home. Alas, no such luck. He vacuumed with unfettered joy all the way to town. He vacuumed in between bites of chicken nuggets. An 11 year old girl actually walked by us and said to me “Can’t you make him shut up?” OK. After I picked my jaw up off the floor and got over the nerve of some people’s kids, I guessed she had verbalized my feelings exactly. It just sounds much better in our own heads then coming out of some punk kid’s all-knowing mouth.

And yet, for 12 hours today, my poor ears were subjected to a heinous amount of industrial noise issued from the mouth of my otherwise sweet, enjoyable child.

For your own listening enjoyment…

Does anyone know how to make it stop??? Because I’m about a half hour away from shoving an ice pick in my ear to stop the pain!!!


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