• The boys and I

  • A Little ‘Bout Me

    I’m 44, married and live in a sewerless small town on the central coast of California. I am an Inflammatory Breast Cancer survivor. My passions are reading, knowledge, shopping and photography – in varying order depending upon my mood. Though I’ve always wanted to be really good at something, I find that I’m just pretty good at most things. I live with my husband, Daddy-O, and our sons, Ben and Danny who are 10 and 5. Ben has ADHD and enough natural energy to power the Pacific Time Zone… and he’s not afraid to use it. Danny has Norries – a rare genetic disease causing him to be born blind. It’s a crazy, hectic life but I can’t complain any more than usual.
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Is it just me or has 2010 been brutal?  I haven’t talked to a family yet that hasn’t had life hand them anything but a steaming pile of doggy doo since January. 

My Grammy has been to doctor after doctor trying to find out if she actually has a tumor in her brain that’s causing her to fall all the time or if she’s got something else wrong instead.  Meanwhile my 81 year old Grandpa Jess, who had a massive stroke a year ago at Christmas, has developed pneumonia.  Did I mention my Grammy is his primary caregiver?  And just to add insult to injury, my Aunt who helps my Grandfolks out on a daily basis was given scabies by her dog who likes to play with the neighbor’s chickens. 

And that’s just my genetic family.  My other families haven’t gone unscathed…

My bff and her family are going through a traumatic divorce and the unexpected death of a beloved family friend.   

A girlfriend of mine was brutally beaten by a mutual guy friend who turned out to be no one I want to be friends with. 

Worst of all, my Mothers With Cancer family has not gone unscathed.  Sarah from Spruce Hill has suffered a recurrence of her breast cancer.  It’s metastasized to her chest wall, hip and lungs.  Now, this morning I find out that Toddler Planet’s Susan just got the results of her latest scan.  Not good.  She has some lymph nodes on her scan making like light bulbs… just calling attention to themselves.  It sucks when you have to hope for a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad infection causing problems because the other options are completely unacceptable. 

Superstitious as it is, I’ve always known these types of things to come in threes.  So now I find myself holding my breath waiting for the other recurrence shoe to drop.  And me with my own scans coming up this month…

I’ve had a heart-to-heart with God.  I know he has a plan.  I know “that all things work together for good to them that love God”.  But I am struggling mightily with his means just now. 

Deep breath.   I’ve been tossing around symbolic apparel ideas for the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in July.  All of this has led me to a decision.  I am now shopping for some pink boot covers.   The kind you wear over your own shoes with your Halloween costume.  They will be my Kick Cancer’s Ass Boots!  After all, boots are made for walking!!!!!

It’s the least I can do.  Literally.


3 Responses

  1. Breathing with you.

  2. Sadly, #3 occurred last week. http://www.circlingmyhead.blogspot.comReading the blog, the comments from this amazing group of women Renee befriended on her IBC journey…has totally broken my heart.

  3. I am so sorry about Renee. Damn cancer must be stopped!

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